Author: Sondra

Wife. Mom. Teacher. Cancer Survivor. Writer. Photographer. Music lover. Outdoor Adventurist. Crazy Pet Lady.
Faith, Life, motivation

A Letter to the Exiles

Sondra

Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord.
“They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a
hope.

That’s a pretty popular scripture. If we are honest, probably all of us will
admit to hearing it or using it several times. I’ve heard or read it five times
just in the last week. It’s so popular that it’s cliché, really. We overuse it and
it loses its meaning entirely. Someone’s going through a bad time, and we
say, “God knows the plans He has for you.” We hear of someone who is
discouraged and ready to give up, and we say, “God has a plan and it’s a
good one!” Someone graduates and we tell them, “God knows what He has
planned for your future.” Someone is facing a life transition, and we say,
“God knows the plans He has for you. Plans to prosper you and not to
harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.”

That’s what we do. Empty platitudes. Used so much that it seems
thoughtless. I wonder how many of us are aware of the context in which it was written.

As I read Jeremiah 29 the other morning, I finally understood it.

Jeremiah 29 is a letter to the exiles. An exile is someone who has been
barred or banished from their home country. In this case, the children of
Israel had been deported from their home, the land that God had given
them, and taken to Babylon to live and serve the king. Not a happy time in
the life of the Israelites. One might wonder why this bad thing happened.
Who was responsible for it?

Here’s what I noticed as I read Jeremiah’s letter to the exiles.
v. 4: This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the God of Israel, says to all
the captives he has exiled to Babylon from Jerusalem: GOD DID THIS. It’s
all part of His plan. Granted, it doesn’t seem like the “good” plan of v. 11,
but it clearly says that God has exiled them to Babylon. THERE’S A
REASON THEY ARE THERE.

So what are they supposed to do while they are there? Figure out a way to
get out of there as soon as possible? No. Verse 5 says, “Build homes, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food they produce.” PLAN TO STAY! For a while!

If they have to stay there, surely God doesn’t expect them to have a life
among the natives, right? Just lay low and wait. Right? Wrong. Verse 6 says, “Marry and have children. Then find spouses for them so that you may
have many grandchildren.” Multiply! Do not dwindle away! DO NOT DWINDLE AWAY.

There is another scripture that I love that talks about the same thing. In Exodus 1:12, in another time when the children of Israel found themselves as slaves in another country, the Bible says that “the more they ( the Egyptians) afflicted them (the Israelites), the more they grew. GOD DIDN’T EXPECT THEM TO LAY LOW AND HIDE. HE DIDN’T
WANT THEM TO BE DIMINISHED, BUT TO MULTIPLY AND GROW.

Ok, so they are expected to live there and plan to stay. But surely that’s it,
right? Nope. Verse 7 says, “And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.”
WOW. ITS WELFARE WILL DETERMINE YOUR WELFARE. God is telling
them that the future you have is tied up in the future of that city.

So what about this future anyway?

Verse 10 says, “This is what the Lord says: ‘You will be in Babylon for seventy years.
But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and
I will bring you home again.” 70 YEARS??? And then, and only then, will
God do the good things He has promised and will bring them home again.
Verse 11 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans
for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'”

So what’s this mean for us? What does it mean when we’re in a discouraging situation?
Or when things seem hopeless? When we’re in a season of life that we don’t like? When
our circumstances are less than desirable?

We can remember the lessons from the letter to the exiles.

  1. There is a reason for this season.
  2. Plan to stay a while.
  3. It’s meant for growth.
  4. Your future will be determined by your success or failure in this
    season.
  5. At the appointed time, the plans God has for you will materialize.
    Life is full of disappointments. I wish I had better news for you, but I don’t.
    There are seasons. Seasons of growth, seasons of death. Times when
    you’re on the mountain, and times when you’re in the valley. And here’s
    what I have found to be true. If you fix your focus on Jesus, you will see His
    glory. If you focus your gaze on the mountain, you can’t see the
    magnificence of God in the moment.

And just a little side note, think back to the 70 years in Babylon for a
minute. That’s the span of a life. God says that after His children spend a
lifetime as exiles here on Earth, He will then do the good things He has promised and bring them home again. Home is Heaven with Him. Now
those are plans I can look forward to!

Life

Happy New Year

Sondra

It’s been a cool, crisp, peaceful morning here. The temps remind me of a crisp fall day. The kind that I like. The kind that envokes happiness in my soul. The kind that make me think of going back to school. More specifically, the kind of morning that takes me back to the days when I had graduated from high school and was preparing to leave for college at Mizzou. New Year’s Day might be January 1st, but going back to school has always felt like the new year to me. 

I love this time of year and I think that maybe it is why I became an educator. There’s always been a level of excitement and anticipation that I have felt at this time of the year. It’s more than just cool air and college football. I love those things, but it goes deeper than that.

There’s new students, new parents, often new coworkers. New clothes, new backpacks, new pens and notebooks. Everything is new and with that comes the potential to do something new with the year. To make, or re-make, yourself. 

It’s a time of setting goals for the school year. What do I want to accomplish? How do I want the year to look? How do I want to look? What’s my schedule look like? What can I incorporate into my daily routine that will help me to achieve those goals?

Am I ready to give up my summer freedoms like slow mornings and drinking my coffee while it’s still hot? Living in my pjs and having a clean house? Not quite. But I am ready to go school shopping. 🙂

~Sondra~

Uncategorized

The Progression of Things

Sondra

Today wasn’t a snow day for my school, but I chose not to participate anyway due to the amount of white stuff that was rapidly piling up around me. There was so much snow and it was still coming down, so I exercised my right to use a personal day and just enjoy the beauty of God’s creation.

Of course, when I opened the door to let the dog out this morning, he was unsure whether he wanted to go out in it or not. He’s still a “puppy” and has never seen that much snow before. He walked out onto the porch and looked up at the sky where the snow was falling from, turning his head this way and that way, trying to figure out what was going on.

Finally, he left the porch and ventured onto the snow-covered front yard. I knew he needed to use the bathroom because he was inside all night. Instead of heading to his usual bathroom spot, he sat down on the snow and gave a look like, “Really, Mom?” I think if he could roll his eyes, he would have been doing it at that moment. He was definitely not amused.

He came back in without going to the bathroom. I knew he would go out again soon, but I let him in. He just needed some time to get used to it.

The second time I let him out, I threw a snowball for him to chase. Bear loves a good chase and I thought that maybe it would coax him to play. I was right. He jumped right off the porch to chase the ball. Of course, it fell apart when he bit into it, leading him to eat even more snow. Before I knew it, he had taken a bathroom break and was running at full tilt back and forth across the yard.

It would be several minutes before he was ready to come back inside and nap. He had decided that he loved the snow. I do that, too. I hear about something new and I think that I am not going to like it, but then more times than not, I change my mind after a little while.

Now the snow is melting already and I will have to go back to work tomorrow, but that’s how I like my snow–here today and gone tomorrow. If only the mud would disappear just as quickly.

Faith, Gratefulness, gratitude, Health, Life

Good Things

Sondra

My last slow morning of the summer. Today is Labor Day and I’ve enjoyed my morning immensely. I haven’t done anything spectacular. I’ve had my coffee and Jesus time. I’ve started washing bedding. I’ve washed dishes. I’ve put the meatloaf in the crockpot for dinner. Just little things that I was able to accomplish without rushing around to try and get to work on time.

Mike woke up and did the morning chores before he went into town to get a part he needed to fix the brush hog. He brought home breakfast burritos and Keith as well. After fixing the brush hog, he took Keith home and then came back to start brush hogging. He has a lot to get done before colder weather hits. There’s always something to do around here. Our to-d0 lists never end. I’m thankful for the day off to gain a little ground on the list. It’s good for the soul.

I looked up and out the window a few minutes ago and saw leaves falling from the tree and blowing in the wind. I love this time of year when the mornings are cooler, and sometimes the days stay cooler as well. I could live with this climate all year round. I don’t need the spring rain, the summer sun, or the winter snow. I just want this. 

I want a lot of things that I cannot have. It’s not that they are bad things. I don’t want bad things. I want only what I consider to be good things. But are they only good? What would happen to the ecosystem if all we had was 60 degree lows and 80 degree highs? What would happen to the earth if we didn’t have the spring rain, the summer sun, or the winter snow? Things to think about and remember that, even though I might not like something, it is necessary for the way God created the world to work. He knew what He was doing. He designed everything to work together (Romans 8:38).

~Sondra~

Gratefulness, Life, motivation, photography, Uncategorized

Country Roads

Sondra

It’s the simple things. I don’t have to climb any more mountains for I have stood on the peaks already. I’ve floated on faith in the rivers at the bottom and found victories in the valleys.

Who are they?

Where did they come from? Have they always lived here?

Are there children? Pets?

Who are their parents/grandparents?

What do they do for a living?

What do they do in their free time?

What are their stories?

I know it’s none of my business, but I can’t help but wonder as I creep by the houses. What else am I supposed to do while driving this slow?

I try not to stare. I know that some of these houses have cameras pointing toward the road, catching the cars that drive by. Noticing the people who are looking for a reason to come back.

I am not coming back for anything. I’m just following my husband on the tractor, letting my mind wander a bit as we go.

I remember growing up that we knew our neighbors. We talked to them, went to church with them, sometimes worked with them. We sat on our porches and waved as they came out into their yards. We invited them over for dinner. Kids went outside and played with other kids. Do people do that anymore? Are we so busy that we don’t take time to get to know them? Are our noses stuck in our phones so much that we don’t look up to notice? Have people developed such anxiety and fear of other people?

Don’t take this the wrong way because I do scroll my social media to “catch up” with what my friends are doing, but maybe it’s time we put the phone down, unplugged, and invited the neighbor over for coffee instead? Yes, I know that can be risky. And I know that shrinks our world because we have family and friends who live so far away. I’m not saying technology doesn’t have its place and hasn’t made some things better. But sometimes, it’s made things worse.

Human connection has been replaced by screens and people don’t know how to treat each other anymore. We don’t trust each other. We don’t respect each other. We don’t know each other at a level that we used to. 

Today I am taking my own advice and having lunch with a friend I’ve had since kindergarten. ☺ We go way back to the time when there were no cell phones, social media, or cyber-bullying. We rode our bikes down to the creek. We played school in the old, abandoned house across the road. We sat up and talked all night. We recorded songs off the radio. We sat and ate cereal at her kitchen table. And we built a connection that even my family moving away when I was 14 couldn’t erase. Back in the time of long distance phone calls and no internet, we were able to keep that friendship alive even though we didn’t talk and see each other very often. There were even handwritten letters that we mailed through the mail. 

I know, times have changed, but don’t lose what’s important. Connection trumps technology every time.

Life, motivation

Front Porch Sittin’

Sondra

We got a little rain today. The first little bit in a couple weeks. It was a welcome sight as it cooled the temps off some and rinsed all the dust off my car. Bear and I sat outside on the porch watching the rain fall. He would dart out into it and run just as fast back under the cover of the porch. Me? I stayed under the cover, not willing to get wet.

And that’s basically how I’ve been living life for the past 40-something years. Safe on the porch. Dry. Boring. I like the sound of adventure, but I never get off the porch. I like watching the rain fall, but I don’t want to get wet. Why leave the comfort of my lawn chair?

Because life starts at the end of your comfort zone. -Neale Donald Walsch

Recently, I was talking to a couple friends about life. One is my age and the other is 17. Our perspectives are very different. We adults look back at life and wish we had done some stuff differently. The 17 year-old looks forward, with plans and goals and dreams of what she wants out of life. Are we wrong? Is she naive? No. Neither of those is true. 

My old friend mentioned something about picking your adventure and I immediately thought about those “choose your adventure” books we used to check out at the library when we were kids. You read a bit and then came to a choice. “If you choose to go out in the rain, go to page 21.” “If you choose to turn around and go back in the house, turn to page 35.” “If you choose to sit on the porch and watch it rain, the end. You’re done. Life has passed you by.”

I loved those books. If you made the wrong choice and your character ended up dead, you just went back to the page with the choices and chose another page. No harm, no foul. You made a mistake the first time, but it’s erased and you can make another choice and pretend that the other one never happened. That’s cheating, right? But wouldn’t life be so much better if it happened that way?

Maybe. But maybe not. If you could go back and erase all the mistakes you ever made, would you? I doubt it. Did they cause hurt and suffering? Undoubtedly so. Did you learn from them? Most of us did. The only things I would go back and change were the things I didn’t do. The places I didn’t go. The chances I didn’t take. Except for skydiving…I still probably wouldn’t go skydiving.

Uncategorized

Everything That Has Been Stolen

Sondra

Today was a milestone for me. 

It’s just a few days short of a year that I was in a car accident on the way home from a doctor appointment in Springfield. I stopped at a red light on highway 60 and the girl behind me did not. Her SUV plowed into me at 60 mph, and pushed me into the Jeep in front of me. My poor car was totaled. I watched in my rearview mirror as I saw her not stopping and thought the only thing I could do was hold my brake as hard as I could hoping to avoid the Jeep. I blacked out for a few seconds, maybe a minute, it’s hard to tell. I just remember waking to the smell and the dust from the airbag deploying. I immediately called my husband because I was angry and sure that I was going to need a ride home. When the paramedics arrived on scene, they took my vitals, but I refused treatment. I knew I was going to be sore, but my adrenaline was pumping so hard that I couldn’t feel any pain and there was no blood. If you’re not dying, bleeding, or crying, then keep going, right? (A month later I had some MRIs done when I had a stroke and it was determined that I had a small fracture in my back that was unrelated to the stroke and most likely occurred as a result of the accident. Moral of the story, never refuse treatment and always get checked out even if you aren’t dying, bleeding, or crying.) 

I returned to work the next day and carried on as normal as possible. I had a bruise on my hand and a knot on the back of my head. I was sore, but I physically pushed through because it was easier than finding a sub. I was now dealing with insurance and looking for a replacement for my beloved “Georgia”. I was terrified to drive in traffic or to be stopped at stoplights. I constantly looked in my rearview mirror. I refused to drive anywhere other than small towns.

That was hard for a girl who loved her road trips. That joy of the open road was stolen from me. I no longer enjoyed leaving my house.

A month to the day after the accident, I had a stroke. It wasn’t caused by the accident, but I do feel like the stress exacerbated the situation and was one of many factors that led to it. All strokes are different and the location of the stroke determines what is affected. My stroke was in the thalamus, which is the “relay station” of your brain. Everything except smell is processed through the thalamus and sent onto the appropriate brain center. The primary function of the thalamus is to relay motor and sensory signals to the cerebral cortex. It also regulates sleep, alertness, learning, and memory (https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/22652-thalamus). I had to learn how to walk, hold silverware, write my name…all the things. I frequently confused left/right, I tried to get out of my car without releasing the seatbelt. I cried over the weirdest things (I’ve never been a crier). Those things are getting a little better with time. I still don’t sleep well and struggle to focus. I stumble over words when I’m speaking, so I prefer written communication over having a conversation. I can’t remember most things unless I make myself a note. 

These things only added to my not wanting to drive in traffic, or leave my house for that matter. PTSD plus traumatic brain injury is a bad combination.

Today was the first time since the accident and the stroke that I drove all the way to the other side of Springfield and back home by myself without any major anxiety or being on the verge of a nervous breakdown. It was for work. It wasn’t something I would have chosen to do on my own. I worried about it for a week, but I did it. And now I feel like I can do it again for something more enjoyable than first aid/CPR training for work. That’s a huge milestone that I am going to celebrate! It doesn’t matter to me if you don’t understand it. I don’t expect you to understand unless you have been through it. I just wanted to share it. 

If you do have some trauma, let me share this.

Sometimes things happen that steal parts of us. It’s not fair. It angers us. It paralyzes us in fear. Hold on. There is healing.

Sometimes healing is restorative. You can reclaim what’s been stolen from you. But it isn’t automatically going to happen and it won’t happen in the same way or timeframe for everyone. Some might need the help of a counselor or medication. Some might experience instantaneous healing. 

I am a Christian and my faith and relationship with God has played a huge role in my healing and restoration. Being a Christian didn’t keep me from going through hard things, and it wasn’t a magic wand to wave over the bad things to make them go away. Being a Christian didn’t mean I was going to always have the right response to triggers. I am human (with a traumatic brain injury to the part of my brain that processes emotions, remember?) Healing wasn’t a switch that God flipped one day and everything was all better. I’m still going through the process of healing. 

Sometimes what’s been lost is not meant to be recovered. The door has been closed, but there’s another door to be opened. You can be bitter, or you can choose to reinvent. You can pivot and go in a new direction. I used to play the guitar, but I can’t do that anymore. It was incredibly frustrating when I would try and so I sold the guitars and found a new hobby. Prior to the stroke, I was learning hand lettering and had purchased lots of cool fudenosuke and brush pens to perfect the craft. That’s not happening anymore. My hand shakes and I can barely read my handwriting. I had a good cry over both of these losses, but chose to pivot to something else. Had those two doors never closed, I probably wouldn’t have found the new door to open.

I know that sounds easier than it is. Trust me, it didn’t happen overnight, but it did have to happen before any healing could begin to take place. You can choose to be the victim or you can choose to be the victor, but you can’t choose both. 

By all means, grieve your losses, whatever they may be. Take time to sit with your disappointment. Allow yourself to feel your sadness for a time. After that– because there is an “after” just like there was a “before”– after you process the pain, choose to heal and grow. Don’t let what happened in your life serve no purpose. That’s wasting the best parts. I think the way through grief of any kind is allowing the loss to teach us and grow us. It allows what was lost to continue to have a place in our hearts. 

Read more about a thalamic stroke here:

https://www.flintrehab.com/thalamic-stroke/#:~:text=A%20thalamic%20stroke%20may%20result,thalamus%20plays%20a%20role%20in.

https://www.healthline.com/health/thalamic-stroke#:~:text=What%20is%20a%20thalamic%20stroke,deep%20part%20of%20your%20brain.

~Sondra~

Uncategorized

Leisure by W. H. Davies

Sondra
Uncategorized

When A Picture Isn’t Worth a Thousand Words

Sondra

As I was brewing my coffee this morning, a rich peppermint mocha blend that isn’t “in season” but that I was in the mood for, I found myself wishing that I could take a picture of how it smells. I don’t have the words to describe how delectable the aroma filling my kitchen was.

That’s where I struggle the most as a writer. I want to be able to describe the scene so the reader feels as if they were there. The smells, the sounds, the feel of the breeze or the sun or the rain on your skin. I can take pictures with my camera, but they don’t tell you the whole story. Good writers draw a picture with their words. And I want to get better at that. To do that, I think a person has to experience it and then write about it. 

Yesterday my friend and I went to the lake to look at the sailboats. She had never been, I had been once before. I had taken pictures once before. When we got out of the car, it felt like I was experiencing it for the first time. I had forgotten the sounds at the marina. You can’t hear them in photographs. If you had been around sailboats or marinas I suppose you could draw on your memories, but for those of us who haven’t had a lot of exposure, the sounds and smells are just as wonderful as the sights. The geese squawking. The bell clanging. The water lapping the shore. A fish jumping in the distance.

You can’t feel the stillness of the heron perched for it’s catch. Or the deer grazing in the meadow, never taking his eyes off you. 

It’s true, video can help you experience those things. But what about the smells? I don’t even know how to begin to describe the smell of the lake. Or the clean air in the middle of nowhere. 

What about the feel of the sprinkles hitting your nose? Or the crisp, cool breeze chilling your skin?

How do you experience all of that in a photograph?

The truth is, you can’t, unless you allow yourself to pull from memories you might have stored. But if you don’t have those memories, it’s hard to fully know the experience. It’s not the same as being there. Cliche, but true. All the photos and the words in the world can’t replace experiencing something first-hand. 

By all means, continue to read books, look at photos, watch videos, take “virtual tours”, but most of all, get out there and experience it for yourself! Adventure awaits! And take a friend along to share it with!

Uncategorized

Connections

Sondra

It’s been a good weekend. Saturday morning I finished a book and then got busy getting things ready for Father’s Day today. 

I received a text from a friend asking if I wanted to do lunch, so I went. The food was good and the restaurant was quiet. We sat and lingered over Dr. Pepper and conversation long after the food was finished and the plates had been taken. Connection.

After lunch I joined Mike at my in-law’s house. We started looking through old photos and the next thing we knew it was 7pm. A quick break for dinner, and then we opened another box of photos. We sat and looked and listened to stories from the past. Connection. 

Looking through all those photos got me thinking that this is something that my children and grandchildren will probably never do. Everything is digitized now. People don’t have hard copy photos in boxes and those photo albums with the clingy protector sheets. We have zip drives and the cloud and social media. It’s just not the same as holding history in your hands. The same history that your parents and grandparents held in their hands. Your fingerprints merge with theirs on the paper. The oils on your hands, the scent…you just don’t get that connection with the cloud.

I brought home some old photos to restore. Yes, I will have a digital copy, but I will also preserve the original and the stories that go with them to pass down to the next generation. Connection.

Today the boys came and grilled and we celebrated Mike on Father’s Day. Of course, Mike and I were so tired from being out late the night before that we weren’t very good hosts, but it was good to have the boys here. Connection.

Tomorrow an old friend and I are going on a photo venture to Stockton Lake Marina to see some sailboats and look around a bit. Then another stop at Hulston Mill Historical Park. We’ve packed our lunches and are ready for exploring just like we used to do on Saturday mornings when we were kids. It’s great to have friends who have your history. Old friends who are as comfy as your old college sweatshirt. Connections that are as old as life itself. 

The older I get, the more I want quality connections over quantity. Lingering over Dr. Peppers in the corner of a quiet restaurant. Looking through photos and listening to the stories. Sharing those photos and stories with the next generation. My adult children coming for Sunday lunches. Road trips with childhood friends. Those are the kinds of connections I crave. Those are the kinds of connections I will seek.