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I’m supposed to be writing today, but I can’t really find a direction to go in. Writer’s block? Perhaps. That’s what I thought it was until I read something this morning in Priscilla Shirer’s book “Fervent.” 

Passionless. Powerless. Prayerless.

Three simple words, but oh, the punch they packed as they took aim right in the middle of my forehead. That is where I am at this moment in my life. Don’t judge just yet. I took a break from everything during cancer, for obvious reasons. And I extended the break from most things after cancer so that I could rest and focus. I did not want to return to the pre-cancer pace where everything felt just a degree away from chaotic. That’s not when I’m at my best. I wanted to really focus and be able to devote my whole self to the task at hand instead of just throwing what I had leftover at it and hoping for the best. So, for the past year, I’ve been practicing “the best yes.” I’ve turned down a lot of things—good things, but not the best things for me. And now I’m ready to jump back in the game, but am not sure where. The passions I had prior to taking a break are no longer there. That season of my life is over, and that’s ok. That’s natural. But when I sat down and asked myself, “What are you passionate about?” I came up with nothing. And so, when I read those three words this morning—passionless, powerless, prayerless—they hit with frightening accuracy. 

I know what you’re thinking and no, I don’t mean prayerless as in no prayer at all. I pray. I pray in the mornings and when I need God to help in a certain situation. I sometimes remember to pray before I eat, but not usually. The prayers I pray are not passionate or powerful. They don’t have a lot of substance. They are surface prayers, much like superficial conversation with an acquaintance you meet on the street. They are safe prayers. They are prayers that don’t cost me anything. They are prayers that don’t require action from me. And I’m not okay with that anymore because to move out of this place of passionless, powerless prayer, I have to begin to pray bold prayers.

There was a time in my life when I prayed those kinds of prayers. I drew a circle and staked claim on things in prayer. After all, you have not because you ask not. Not long ago, my prayers were passionate. I prayed fervently for people and situations. I prayed for God to use me and I meant it.

There was also a time when my prayers were powerful. Things happened when I prayed. I look back through the prayer notebook I kept a couple years ago and see the answers in response to my prayers. That was exciting. It was thrilling to know that God heard me and that He was at work in each of the situations. I couldn’t wait to see what He was going to do in the circumstances I invited Him into through prayer.

So why did I stop? Did God change His response? Did He stop answering? Did God change how He communicates with me? No. I changed in how I communicate with Him. Why? Perhaps it was because of fear that He’d ask me to do another hard thing. Maybe it was because after coming through cancer, I felt like I could stay with the stuff while everyone else went to the battle. But that’s just it. It’s because I’ve gone through cancer that I should be in the middle of the battle. It’s because I’m a victor in that battle that I should be out front in the next one. God didn’t heal me from cancer so that I could sit on the sidelines and do nothing. If He didn’t want me to do anything, He’d have taken me home. He has something for me to do, but before I can do it, I must change those three words that characterize my life at this moment. I must change from passionless, powerless, prayerless to prayerful, powerful, passionate. 

Passionate, powerful prayer gains much. 

You gotta love Facebook’s “On This Day” app. If you don’t use it, you should. 

Let me give you an example. On this day in 2014, I posted this status update:

“‘The outcome of your life will be determined by your outlook on life.’ (Mark Batterson, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day)

Your perception becomes your reality. If you see yourself as a victim, you will live defeated. If you see yourself as a victor, you will live victoriously. Sounds almost too simple, doesn’t it?”

I still totally believe that, but I think I might even believe it more now than I did when I posted it. It’s almost like I said it and then God said, “Show me.” He does that sometimes. Not because He needs to know if we mean it. He knows our hearts. He does it so that we can see if we really mean it. He does it so that we can bring Him glory.
You see, a year after I posted that, I started chemo and if ever I was going to choose to be a victim or a victor, it was in that journey. There is nothing glorious about chemo or cancer. There is very little dignity when you are lying in a hospital bed in one of those stylish gowns, pusing the call button every time you neded to go to the bathroom. If I wanted to be a victim, I would have certainly been justified. 

Maybe you’re going through something right now and you feel like a victim. Maybe you’ve been cheated or hurt or you’re going through health issues. You feel like you’re justified in being a victim. Don’t stay there. Give yourself 24 hours to grieve and yell and whatever you need to do and then move out of the victim pit. Continuing to view yourself as a victim will cause the pit of bitterness and resentment to grow so deep that you cannot get out. “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5). 

The morning is not a literal 24 hours, of course. It’s a figure of speech to describe when th darkness ends and the light shines through. On Morning is when you wake up and see yourself as a victor because when that happens, you invite God into that circumstance and allow Him to change you. To strengthen you. To be glorified through you. That is our assignment. That’s what we are here to do…to point to God. That is true worship. Don’t let what is wrong with you–your circumstances, your struggles, your pain–keep you from worshipping what is right with God. 

It’s human nature to ask why when we find ourselves facing difficulties. Some even say, “If God is good, why does He allow this to happen?” When I look at the circumstances in my life in terms of assignments God has given to me, my whole outlook changes. I’m here because this is where God wants me. I’m going through this because God has a grand plan for me. I’m here to point to God and bring Him glory. 

And when we’re finished with our assignments, He’ll say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

~Sondra

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Today is an “ice day” home from work. The company (and most schools in the area) called off yesterday afternoon in anticipation of the coming weather. It didn’t come. At least not here. There is no ice. There is barely even any rain. I wonder if there’s some sort of game the weather guys play…predicting and talking up the ice storm of the century, and then sitting back and laughing when everyone buys it. Possibility.
I’m amazed at how many people flock the stores when they hear of an impending storm. Bread, milk, and eggs fly off the shelves in record time. Pallets of ice melt are staged at the enterance of the store, right in front of the snow shovel display. Who needs to buy a snow shovel EVERY TIME it snows anyway? What happens to the ones we bought the last time it snowed???

Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to predict and prepare for impending life storms? For instance, would I have done anything differently if I had known that cancer was in my future? What would you do if you knew a job loss was coming? Or a relationship fail? Or a car accident? Would you want to know the storm was coming, or would that cause anxiety and paralyzing fear? 

Proverbs 31:21 says this: “She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes.” She’s wise. She knows that storms and seasons come and go. That’s life. But instead of dreading or fearing or freezing in hopelessness, she prepares not only herself, but her household. “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” In other words, she’s done everything she can do, and she trusts that God will do the rest. There is strength in the quiet trust we place in our Heavenly Father. Instead of waiting until the storm arrives and then running to God in desperation, there’s a peace in walking with Him and trusting Him with every moment of every single day.

Face the storms of life head-on with confidence that God’s in control. Unlike us, He knows the exact time and circumstances. Nothing surprises Him. Nothing sneaks past Him. When the storms of life come, we can rest in the knowledge that He has already prepared for it.

~Sondra