Trust

I’ve wanted to start blogging again for a few days. Of course, I haven’t had time to do it, but I’ve wanted to. And today seems like the perfect time to start.

Yesterday I went to the doctor. I needed to have a check-up with my blood pressure, but i also wanted the doctor to check out the lump I found in my breast a couple weeks ago. It is in the same location where they did two mammograms back in February. He ordered another mammogram. I don’t have one scheduled yet, but they are supposed to call to make an appointment. Hopefully Monday.

I’m a type A personality, so I want to get it over with ASAP. I don’t need a mammogram to tell me there is something there because I can feel it there. I need to skip to the step where they just do a test to figure out what it is and then deal with it. But, I wait, which is hard for me.

It’s not that I’m worried. Not much. I don’t believe that it is anything to worry about. I believe that it is nothing. I don’t expect to have to go through a long journey with this. But, if it turns out to be something and I do have to go on a long journey, I trust that God’s got this. I trust that this is part of His plan for me and that He has it all under control. I trust that, if this is something, my world is not falling apart, but it’s falling into His plan that He had for my life from the very beginning. I am His masterpiece…His best work…created to do the good works He had planned for me from the beginning. Before He formed me in the womb, He knew me. He knew exactly where I would be today. And where I’ll be tomorrow.

Today, my faith is strong. Today there is no wavering in me. I can’t promise tomorrow will be like this. I can’t tell you that I won’t be an emotional wreck tomorrow. I can’t promise that fear won’t overtake me tomorrow. All I know is that, through every single breath, I must trust God.